month 3 – vodka, tomato juice and a lemon
March 19, 2009
The good news is that I didn’t bleed the entire month, I’d say it was closer to 1.5 weeks on, 2.5 weeks off. This was nice for many reasons, most importantly because I was sick of being called, “Bloody Mary.”
With that much (consecutive) time period-less, I felt it was time to take the Mirena for a spin.
The spin was very short and led directly to the bad news.
My husband could feel the strings, which he was convinced would decapitate him.
F-ing Mirena.
So I made my follow-up appointment with the plan to have the strings cut.
TWO (my one-year-old) and I made it to the office early, which turned out to be the last good thing to happen until we left.
They made us wait an hour. AN HOUR. Most of which, for me, was spent clutching a paper gown behind my back and trying to keep my kid from playing with the pap smear tools.
She had great fun with this:
and this:
Which was just wrong on so many levels.
But I could only get her off of it so many times before she kicked my gown to shreds. By the time the doctor entered the room it looked like I was wearing a grass skirt.
From that point things just kind of skidded out of control.
The doctor said the bleeding could go on for six months, but chances were that after that I wouldn’t get a period for the next 4.5 years. Right. He also said that cutting the strings would make it harder to remove the Mirena. Before I could give that any consideration…
TWO started to wail. WAIL. The nurse handed her graham crackers, but TWO wanted me. The doctor became very uncomfortable and started to twitch while he pulled out the scissors.
DOCTOR: Nurse? Why can’t you quiet her? Don’t you have grandchildren?
NURSE: My son is 13.
DOCTOR: Can’t you hold her or something?
ME: Hello?
The doctor cut the strings…and handed one to me. Uhh…
The doctor “dropped” the other string and then said, “Oh, I lost a string in your vagina. Nurse?”
The nurse abandoned TWO, who almost flipped the umbrella stroller forward in her attempt to walk towards me. The nurse pushed the (very warm) light so close to my skin that I was afraid to breathe.
The doctor dug around for a little while and finally said, Oh well, it’ll fall out eventually.
Then he wrote me a perscription for a SECOND birth control in case the bleeding from the Mirena didn’t stop.
Because more hormones would be a GREAT idea. Just ask my family three days before my period when I flip from staring at the wall to crying to being suspicious to yelling.
On a good note, because there is one, is that heading into month 4 my period lasted less than one week. 5 days and it’s GONE.
So maybe he was right. Which is easier to believe now that he’s no longer twitching and pointing scissors where scissors don’t belong…
Perhaps some good news on the horizon – I had my Mirena inserted in 10/08 – no ill effects, only the pain of a local anesthetic being shot into my cervix – HELLO!
Anyway – During the first two months I had exactly 7 days each month of no bleeding/gunk. Then month three I got 14 days, then back to 12 during month 4 – during all of this my period was coming regularly with no change. Then month five – cue the angels – my period was three days VERY light then gone – then a couple of days of spotting around day 14 (ovulation). Month 6 – no period at all – nothing – nada! then started light spotting at day 14 which has now been six days out of the last 8. Clearly things are getting better and I have three friends that have the Mirena and swear by it – claim they are period free – a total non-event. I keep holding onto the hope. Good luck.
i also have the mirena 5yr iud. it did really good after my first pregancy for the fist 3 yrs and then the leg cramps and feet cramps came back. i had to have it removed and had my 2nd child. after my second was born we i chose the mirena again and haven’t had any problems yet and almost going on 2 yrs again. i find it’s comfortable and the dr i had was actually a midwife and understood the female body better than the male doctors. it took less than a minute to put it in and say ok here ya go see ya next year.
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